It’s your first day at your new Japanese company, and your coworker approaches with a smile. “Hello!” she says in English. “My name’s Rin Takahashi. I look forward to working with you.”
“Likewise!” you say. “It’s nice to meet you, Takahashi-san.”
“Oh, you can call me Rin!”
Oh no, you groan internally. The can of worms has officially been opened. Because you know—having read many articles like this one—that if you were both Japanese, you’d address her as Takahashi-san.
Now, however, you’re floundering, caught in the boggy middle ground between her culture and yours. Using a first name is normal in English, but strangely informal in Japan, so . . . should you say “Rin-san,” to meet Japanese standards of politeness? “Ms. Rin,” since you’re both speaking English? Just “Rin,” with no honorific at all?
And why, you wonder, do so many Japanese people introduce themselves to foreigners by their first names, but to other Japanese people by their family names?
Poor Rin—and every Japanese coworker, friend, and student she represents—is surely unaware of the dilemma she’s posed to you. But with more international workers coming to Japan, and more Japanese companies reaching for English as their official language, this is a scene that will only become increasingly common.
So, what is the best way to address a Japanese person in English?
This isn’t really a “how-to” article, because it’s not a question that can be answered in tidy, easily-digested bullet points. It’s an ongoing discussion of the crossroads between Japanese customs and English conventions, and can be affected by a number of different factors: the age of the people involved, their status, whether you’re inside or outside Japan, and your personal relationship with them.
Japanese people use honorific titles regularly, which is a concept that is largely missing in English in the West. Honorifics can be used for people of all ages and show the relationships between people. For example, -kun is often used for young boys, while -chan is used for young girls. For adults, -san is the most common honorific for peers, and even friends.
In business or other hierarchies, such as sports, the role often takes the place of the honorific: Tanaka-shachou (社長, company president/CEO), Yamanaka-buchou (部長, manager), or Okita-kantoku (監督, coach). If you are a normal worker in the company and you address the CEO without the correct honorific, that could be a major faux pas.
For many Japanese people, attaching honorifics is a subconscious reflex: Akita-san is not just “Akita” in their memory, but “Akita-san.” Most foreigners are at least superficially aware of this, so even when a Japanese person asks you to address them by just their first name and no honorific, it can lead to a mental disconnect and anxiety over the “correct” way to address them.
With that in mind, I’ve interviewed a number of experts in international business and cross-cultural communications, to see what they have to say on the topic. The general takeaway: context is everything.
Appearance of Equality vs Appearance of Inequality cultures
It all comes down to politeness, Brooke Brown believes. The difficulty is that cultures can define politeness quite differently: some with an “Appearance of Equality,” and others with the “Appearance of Inequality.”
Brooke Brown, a cross-cultural expert for Link and Motivation, has led communication seminars for Rakuten and Uniqlo. She learned the Appearance of Equality/Inequality framework from American interculturalist Robert Hilke, and uses it often to discuss naming conventions, as well as much broader areas of potential culture clash.
“Appearance of Equality cultures tend to create a more casual atmosphere in most situations,” she wrote to me. “We ‘appear’ equal/friendly because that is ‘polite.’ So, based on our behavior, who is in the higher position (boss/team member, for example), is hard to distinguish.
“We call our boss by their first name. We shake hands, [make] small talk, use humor, make strong eye contact, even sometimes sit on tables, etc.”
In other words, it’s good manners for work superiors to act as if they’re on the same social and organizational level as their employees, and it’s equally correct for everyone else to behave as if this is actually the case. This is a polite fiction, of course, but to many it’s natural office culture. In fact, if a boss doesn’t adhere to this fiction—if they emphasize hierarchy—it can engender bad feelings.
But this is obviously not the case for Japan, Korea, Thailand, or other Appearance of Inequality cultures. “Appearance of Inequality cultures tend to adjust language and behavior depending upon the situation or person,” Brown wrote. “We ‘appear’ unequal and show the gaps/make the gaps bigger to be ‘polite.’ Who is in the higher position is quite easy to distinguish based on behavior/language. It is not always formal behavior, but initially it is quite formal.”
This often confuses people from Appearance of Equality cultures, who perceive it as cold and unnecessarily hierarchical. However, people native to the culture feel that it is modest and self-effacing—and, in its own way, just as much of a polite fiction as the egalitarian behavior in Appearance of Equality cultures. In this case, many Japanese workers are ahead of the game, especially those who work at international corporations. They tend to quickly grasp the difference between Equality and Inequality cultures, and compensate accordingly by using their first names, or even a nickname, with their English-speaking coworkers.
“If in Japan, I think the best advice is to follow the cultural norm, which means to address people by family name + san,” Brown clarified. “In our seminars, we ask participants to choose what they would like to be called. (Depending on the company, more than half choose their family name).
“That being said, many Japanese working in more global situations use first names or nicknames given to them by colleagues overseas, which is sometimes a ‘your name is difficult to pronounce’ excuse, but hopefully more of an Appearance of Equality casual environment response.”
Looking for more insight into adopted names, I met with a Japanese businessman who’d been given a nickname by his English-speaking business partner—in 1961.
A different era
As Brown says, it’s not uncommon for Japanese people who do a lot of business in English to adopt a nickname. This has gained a more controversial reputation as of late; in the post-war period, however, things were a bit different.
Makoto Takada, the 89-year old founder of Yako Co, Ltd. in Hachioji, spent decades doing business in both the U.S. and Japan. One of his very first American friends, a saxophone player named Tommy Palmer, was struggling with his name.
“He said, ‘I won’t remember that, it’s too difficult. Can I call you Mr. TK?’ And I said, ‘Sure.’ And since age 26 I’ve been Mr. TK.”
A lifelong English enthusiast, as well as a fan of American culture, Mr. TK embraced the nickname. Even decades later, he still introduces himself to any English speaker as “Mr. TK.” “A lot of my English friends don’t even know my real name,” he said with a chuckle.
In his Japanese office, of course, it was a different story. “In Japanese I’m always referred to by my name, Takada-san, or my title: kaichou [chairman] or shachou [president].”
Given that he’s now retired, and also that he’s always enjoyed America’s Appearance of Equality, Mr. TK favors a more casual appellation. But there are certainly situations in which it’s better to err on the side of formality, and the upper levels of business and government are among them.
Starting at the top
When considering how to address high-ranking Japanese officials in English, I consulted with Timothy Langley. Langley was the first foreign national to work in Japan’s government; starting in 1982, he served as a policy secretary to the Minister of Foreign Affairs, Nakayama Taro. He went on to found Langley Esquire, which specializes in helping foreign companies navigate the confusing and somewhat treacherous waters of Japanese government relations and policy making.
“Japanese companies constantly engage with government stakeholders to affect laws and regulations that impact their business, and foreign nationals can do the same,” he wrote on his website. “But the world of Japanese politics is a rarefied atmosphere. People use an elevated form of speech to conduct business; they hold themselves differently and even dress in particular ways.
“There is a set way of approaching government engagement, and foreigners naturally do not really know where to start. That world is, to some degree, closed to them.”
A small part of that “rarefied atmosphere” would be figuring out what to call important politicians in English. When I asked him, Langley stressed that no matter how informal the meeting is, or how casually the minister behaves, one should not slip into Appearance of Equality mode.
“Regarding how to address politicians in particular,” he told me, “they are invariably addressed as sensei. If they are a Minister-of-State, then daijin. . . . Itoh-daijin instead of merely Itoh-sensei. Ambassadors also have a separate title: taishi. So Itoh-taishi instead of -san or -sensei.”
In English, he said, the best substitute for daijin is simply “Minister.” This would apply even if that minister invites you to call him by his first name. “Here, even in the face of ‘Oh, please call me Jiro!’ it is always better to err on the side of more rather than less formality. Not always when speaking [formal Japanese], but always when addressing people.”
Becoming a minister is an important distinction, Langley explained, one that most Japanese politicians carry with pride. The title is part of the package, and it’s best not to try to dispense with it. “Itoh-sensei is still going to be Itoh-sensei or Hajime-sensei . . . not -san. With a minister it would be Minister Itoh or even Minister Hajime. They might complain, but they actually love it!”
Naming your (social) equals
What about addressing your social equals—say, your Japanese coworkers? Rochelle Kopp is the founder and Managing Principal of Japan Intercultural Consulting, an international training and consulting firm focused on Japanese business. In her site’s Japanese Business Etiquette Guide, Rochelle Kopp offers a pragmatic solution: ask.
“Since preferences vary,” she wrote, “ask the people you are dealing with what they want to be called.”
Since this won’t always be an option—during business email exchanges, for example—she also offered a basic, fallback protocol. “Use the last name and either Mr./Ms. or –san unless you are asked to use first names or nicknames. You can never go wrong using a last name. Also, if you receive email from a Japanese person whose name is not obviously male or female, the use of -san is convenient because it is unisex.”
She also explained something that had initially puzzled me when I came to Japan: why, if it wasn’t the cultural norm, did so many Japanese people introduce themselves to me by their first name?
“Japanese know that in many cultures, using a first name conveys a warm connection,” she wrote. And when they address a foreigner in English, many Japanese people find themselves reaching for a combination of conventions. “Non-Japanese may find themselves called by their first names plus -san. … Using -san connotes respect. Take it as a compliment!”
More on -san
Satoko Shimooka, CEO of SIJIHIVE and an experienced marketing localization professional, offered some additional insight into the Japanese use of -san.
“When we need to address Japanese colleagues in front of clients or external people in business meetings or at an industry event, “ she said, “we usually address them [by their] last name without -san. It is to show humbleness by intentionally not addressing internal people with honorific titles.” So if you’ve ever witnessed this at a Japanese business event, and been confused by the seeming disrespect, the omission of -san in this case is following Japanese language conventions and is not derogatory.
As for herself, and when speaking English, Shimooka prefers “being called by first name only, or first name with -san. As I speak English, I have been used to being addressed as such, and it makes me feel more relaxed and welcomed.”
Of course, even well-intentioned English speakers don’t always get her name right. “It seems my name is confusing for some countries,” she explained. “People don’t know which is my first name and which is last, especially when they are not familiar with Japanese names. People usually think female names end with an ‘a’ sound, so they think Shimooka is my first name and just call me Shimooka. It sounds super strange to me!” she added, obviously amused.
The preference for first name or last name may boil down to just how comfortable a Japanese person is with English, Shimooka believes. But in general, she thinks most Japanese speakers prefer to be addressed by their first names in English. “I have rarely seen people who are addressed with their last name, unless someone preferred to be called as such. Maybe it’s easier to say than the last name, or calling them by their last name is already familiar.”
Is -san racist?
Not everyone agrees that -san is respectful, however, Tim Sullivan warned me. Labeling himself the “Cross-Cultural Curmudgeon” on LinkedIn (as well as “Bull in a Ramen Shop” and “Professional Grandpa”), Sullivan is a bilingual educator who spent twenty years running cross-cultural training seminars for major Japanese and American corporations. Now he cheerfully declares himself “retired but not dead,” and adopts a strategy similar to Rochelle Kopp’s.
“I’ve met Japanese with different preferences,” he told me, “so when I meet Japanese folks for the first time, I simply ask how they’d like me to address them.” This applies whether he’s speaking English or Japanese.
When he hasn’t had a chance to ask, he’ll default to the Japanese “surname given-name” order, and add -san as well. For most of his career, that worked perfectly well, with one very notable exception.
“The suffix ‘-san’ is another can of worms that I never thought about,” he told me, “until I read a Twitter post a few years ago by a Japanese writer who said it is ‘racist’ if used when speaking English. I had never once heard that in all my years dealing with Japan, so I was both surprised and suspicious.”
The tweet read: “Use ‘san’ if you are fluent in Japanese and speaking in Japanese and know how that should be used. If you are speaking English, please stick to English. San does not belong in that language except to brand that race.”
A little shocked by this opinion, Sullivan engaged with the tweet-writer—and the exchange did not go smoothly. Some context did emerge, though. It seems the original writer was generally referring to conversations being held outside Japan, in which the majority of speakers were non-Japanese, and only the Japanese person was being addressed as -san. This is not dissimilar to the situation many foreigners encounter in Japan, where they are the only people at their company regularly addressed by their first name and -san.
Curious as to whether this was a widespread opinion, and whether it might apply in other social or work situations, Sullivan issued an informal survey. He wrote up the results, and his own apologetic take on the debate, in his blog post “Is It ‘Racist’ to Use the Japanese Suffix ‘San’ with English?”
Most of the Japanese respondents to the survey were equally surprised that -san could be construed as disrespectful or racist. In general, the consensus was that they do not expect people to use -san when speaking English, but if someone does, they usually feel either neutral or appreciative. Only in a few specific contexts—such as being the only Japanese person in an English-speaking workplace, or receiving a LinkedIn cold call—was -san likely to offend them.
At the end of his post, Sullivan reiterates that it’s important to take people’s preferences and personal situations into account. “It makes sense that we should all strive to be more sensitive, and, before making assumptions, ask Japanese people (and anyone for that matter) how they would like to be addressed, then follow their wishes accordingly.”
Mixing it up
Sullivan’s article certainly raises an interesting question: how does location affect the way you should address Japanese people? In these days of globalized workforces, you might easily find yourself speaking English with a Japanese coworker at the company office in France. How much of a difference does that make?
Or what about when multiple languages are spoken by multiple nationalities, as is also increasingly common in international companies? Will that affect naming conventions in both English and Japanese?
Several members of TokyoDev have experience in such international corporations. Sayana Takagi worked at a company that, despite being based in Japan, was founded by an American CEO and employed only a few Japanese people. Since English was the primary company language, the Japanese employees adapted.
“I was called Sayana,” she said. “However, the Japanese employees called me Sayana-san.” They did so even when speaking English, she added.
Takagi’s next company was Japanese, but she worked in an overseas location and spoke English. However, “The local people were accustomed to Japanese business practices, so they called me Takagi-san.” She usually called them by their first name plus -san.
What’s her preference these days? “Honestly, I don’t really mind being called by any of these names (Sayana, Sayana-san, or Takagi-san). However, I am more used to being called Takagi-san, and being called Sayana in Japan is usually reserved for close friends, so it might feel slightly unfamiliar. But being addressed by my first name itself is not a problem at all.”
I asked if “Sayana-san” was preferable to “Sayana,” and she said it was difficult to decide. “It might be more about the position/age rather than nationality. If the person is younger or my staff member, being called Sayana-san doesn’t feel too strange. However, if the person is older, I might think it’s ok to just call me Sayana. . . . I don’t really have a strong preference.”
Keiko Kimoto is also comfortable being addressed by her first name in English. “Usually, they call me ‘Keiko.’ Some people used to call me ‘Keiko-san,’ but in my experience, it’s only international clients based in other Asian countries such as Singapore or Korea.”
To those who understand Appearance of Inequality cultures, this makes good sense, but it did put Kimoto in a dilemma. If everybody was speaking English, and these international clients were not Japanese, what was the polite way to respond?
“I initially tried to address them in the same way,” she explained. “[For example], if you called me Keiko-san, I tried to call you Rebecca-san. But at some point, I thought it was very unnatural, so I just called them by their first name instead (although they kept calling me ‘Keiko-san’).”
On the whole she feels that Keiko sounds more natural in English than Keiko-san, but either is preferable to the alternative: “I might feel they are being too polite or think they are trying too much to be ‘Japanese’ if my English-speaking coworkers called me ‘Kimoto-san’ though.”
Don’t worry about it too much
If this article has left you with more questions than answers, then MANABI Limited CEO Masafumi Otsuka would urge you not to overthink it.
Although he’s Japanese, Otsuka spent the first 12 years of his life in the US, and describes himself as “one third Japanese, one third American, one third confused.” Now, as an intercultural facilitator and executive coach, he’s mentored many foreigners who live in Japan on this and related subjects.
Like several others in this article, he advocates simply asking the Japanese person what they prefer to be called. But if you do make an honest mistake? Don’t worry about it too much.
“One thing that I’m always telling people,” said Otsuka, “is if I’m going to a different country, like Malaysia, I don’t want to offend the Malaysians. Or Vietnam, or Cambodia . . . you want to be polite, right? But that doesn’t mean you have to act exactly like them. It’s not like they’re going to hold you to the same standard as them. And Japanese are exactly the same.”
“I wouldn’t say take advantage of the situation,” he clarified, “because that sounds like a negative thing. But I think Japanese [people] would be much more open if you don’t try to act too much like a Japanese [person], and just be aware of the situation, to be polite.”
Otsuka pointed out that in Japan, “90% of the population would sacrifice for the 10%. That’s how this country is . . . so people are so careful [because] they don’t want to cause trouble to others.” That includes Japanese people proactively adapting to English conventions, and introducing themselves by their first names.
In many cases, Otsuka explained, this has simply been drilled into them as the polite thing to do when speaking English. “There are so many different [English] textbooks,” he said. “I think everything is written ‘First Name, Last Name.’ And there are so many dialogues on how to introduce yourself, right? So I think, ‘First name, Last name,’ and then your preferred name.”
One thing foreigners in Japan can do to return the courtesy is to adopt a nickname—not a Japanese name, but “at least a short nickname that a Japanese person can remember. . . . They’ll forget right after they ask you [your name], and then Japanese want to be polite, so they’ll never ask you [for your] name again.”
Conclusion
Times are changing, and rapidly. More international corporations are coming to Japan. More Japanese companies are going global. More and more tourists keep flooding Kyoto and Mt. Fuji. All these phenomena suggest that English usage in Japan will only increase, which means that naming conventions may alter as well—at least, in foreign languages.
So what’s the best way to address a Japanese person in English? Obviously there’s no simple answer, but the experts we consulted agree on one thing: you should ask what that person prefers. Given that this was the advice of every expert we consulted, you can hardly go wrong clarifying, from the beginning, how your coworker or acquaintance prefers to be addressed.
For example, in the hypothetical that opened this article, your coworker has already expressed her desire for you to call her “Rin.” But does she prefer Rin only, or Rin-san? Although it may feel awkward, the evidence suggests it’s best to ask, at that moment, which version of her name she prefers. And the more we normalize asking upfront, the fewer uncomfortable moments we’ll all experience.
If you can’t ask for whatever reason, you’ll just have to listen closely and read the room. When in doubt, it can’t hurt to go more formal than is strictly required, such as Langley advises when speaking with government officials.
That doesn’t mean there aren’t general trends. Our Japanese interviewees do prefer to be addressed in English by their first names, with or without -san. It feels “relaxed,” “natural,” and “polite.” Still, exceptions exist, such as Mr. TK, who prefers his 60-year old English nickname to the extent that many friends don’t even know his Japanese name.
Most foreigners come to Japan prepared to adapt to Japanese culture, but Japanese people appear equally prepared to adapt to more global customs. Kimoto pointed out that forcing the issue and using someone’s surname might actually appear to be “too Japanese” and create awkwardness. As is usually the case in Japan, it’s better to go with the flow.
And since so many Japanese people freely use first names in English, it makes sense that most non-Japanese people are also usually addressed by their first names. Some foreigners experience this as alienating, and would prefer to be addressed by their last names, as is “proper” in Japan. But given that many Japanese people view using first names as the “proper” form in English, it should instead be understood as a courtesy.
I personally am considering Otsuka’s advice to adopt an easy-to-remember English nickname. I know all too well how embarrassing it is to forget someone’s name, especially since I’m still learning Japanese names myself. With that in mind, I asked Otsuka (who asked in the interview for me to call him “Masa”) if “Becky” could be more easily recalled than “Rebecca.”
“There’s a famous entertainer named Becky!” he said. “So yes, I think it will be easy for Japanese people to remember.”
