I first came to Japan as a software developer in 2006, and have continuously resided in the country since. Since settling here, I’ve had two children with my Japanese wife. Now ages four and seven, they are on track to be fully bilingual. They use Japanese almost exclusively in their day-to-day lives and with their mother, but are also comfortable speaking English with me and my Canadian family.
This is a great outcome, but it was not guaranteed, even with parents who speak both languages. Research indicates that in potentially bilingual settings like ours, approximately 25% of those children do not become bilingual. Additionally, other studies suggest that the mother’s language is twice as influential on a child’s language exposure compared to the father’s, a finding likely linked to traditional gender roles in caregiving.
In this article, I’ll explain my approach to ensuring my children speak both English and Japanese. Rather than sending the kids to international schools or after-school lessons, I’ve relied on simple methods that encourage them to speak English regularly, via daily habits, family time, Internet resources, and travel.
Why not international school?
One option to increase my children’s exposure to English is sending them to an international school in Japan. Thus far, I’ve decided against this. Tuition is typically at least two million yen per year—not including the many other expenses, such as high-end electronic purchases—which means that over the course of their education I’d be spending tens of millions of yen more than I would by sending them to a public school.
Beyond the cost, because public school is the norm in Canada, I tend to view private schools as elitist and socially homogeneous institutions that perpetuate inequality. Providing my children with exposure to a broad range of backgrounds is important to me, so I prefer the economic diversity that public school offers. At least at my local school, there’s a surprising amount of cultural diversity too, with about 20% of the students in my eldest’s class having at least one international parent.
Additionally, international schools are legally not considered schools in Japan. My understanding is that it is technically illegal for my children, who are Japanese citizens, to attend them. Some Japanese parents do use grey-area techniques to get around this, like sending their children to public schools for a couple of days per year. Even with those workarounds, though, putting my children in international school would make it harder for them to ever re-enter the Japanese system.
This is something they might want to do should they decide to attend a Japanese university. Undergraduate programs in Japan are almost entirely made up of Japanese students, with only about 3% being international. Without having attended a Japanese high school, my children would have quite a hard time being accepted to a Japanese university.
On the other hand, about 17% of bachelor’s students in Canada are international students. Because Canadian universities are better set up for students of diverse nationalities, I don’t have any worries that a Japanese education would preclude them from studying internationally.
Why not after-school English lessons?
After-school English lessons are easy to find all over the country. However, the target market for these lessons are typically Japanese children with only basic English skills. My children already speak more English than most of their peers, so I think it’s unlikely that I could find a good course for them. Either they’d be placed with kids of similar ages but with much poorer English comprehension, or with older children who have better English skills but are much more mature socially.
So how have I helped them learn English?
Following are the techniques I’ve used to expose my children to English and encourage their language abilities, without breaking the bank.
At home
One parent always speaks English
I’ve always only spoken English with my children. On the other hand, my wife almost exclusively speaks in Japanese to them. She’ll speak in a mixture of Japanese and English to me, and I typically use English with her. My children speak Japanese with each other.
While I’m not a totally fluent Japanese speaker, I do use it occasionally: with their Japanese grandparents, with other parents at school, and so on.
From the time they were learning to speak, I always used English with them. When they would speak in Japanese to me, I’d sometimes pretend I didn’t understand. Other times I’d give the equivalent English word or phrase and ask them to repeat it. I took a similar approach to grammatical mistakes. At this point, it has become a habit for them.
I try not to be overly pedantic about this; there are times I let errors slide, especially if they’re tired or frustrated. It’s more a question of being reasonably consistent.
Regular one-on-one time
I’m fortunate that, as my children have grown up, I’ve always been my own boss and able to maintain a flexible schedule. This has allowed me to take on many childcare responsibilities, from daycare pickups to doctor appointments.
If I was a traditional Japanese salaryman who worked long hours and only spent time with them on weekends, I doubt they would have picked up my language so well.
Reading English books daily
Almost every night before bedtime, I typically spend 30 minutes reading English books to my children. I’m not naturally the most talkative person, and this gives them more opportunity to hear me speaking in English.
It also gives me a chance to unwind, as I find reading aloud to them relaxing.
Roleplaying games
In my youth I was an avid player of Dungeons & Dragons. I got back into the hobby as an adult during the COVID pandemic, eventually stepping into the Dungeon Master role. Part of my motivation for learning how to run games was that I wanted to eventually play with my kids.
When my older child was around four years old, I tried playing Hero Kids with him. It kind of worked, but I don’t think he was quite mature enough to fully grasp the concept. More recently, I purchased the Heroes of the Borderlands starter set for Dungeons and Dragons, and have been playing it fairly successfully with both children.
I also usually have my eldest add together his rolls and bonuses, so besides being an opportunity to converse in English with me, it’s also been a good chance to work on math skills.
Resources
Khan Academy Kids
The only eLearning app I’ve used is Khan Academy Kids. It is free and has neither ads nor bugs, which puts it miles ahead of anything else I’ve tried.
The app is a collection of mini-games in English around topics like reading and math, along with a number of audio ebooks. It’s fun enough that my kids view using it as something special, while not being so entertaining that they regularly beg to do it.
English-language videos
We don’t have a TV, and the kids’ only regular screen time is on weekends, when they get an hour or so per day. In other exceptional circumstances, such as long car rides or sick days, we let them watch more.
I admit, I’m not entirely sure why. Perhaps the quality of English shows is generally better? Or maybe it’s because I chose English shows from the beginning, and now they’ve gotten used to them?
Regardless, English language video content has helped expand their vocabulary. Sometimes I’ll hear them use a new word or phrase that I haven’t taught them, and when I ask where they learned it, they’ll mention a show they watched.
English reading lessons
When my eldest started attending Japanese elementary school and learning how to read Japanese, I knew I wanted him to be able to read English, too. I did some basic research and found the book Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. My eldest and I are now about a quarter of the way through that curriculum.
An added benefit of English reading lessons is that it has given us the chance to work on pronunciation. Since the curriculum asks students to focus on saying discrete sounds, I’ve been able to correct him when he doesn’t get them quite right.
I also started the book with my four-year-old. The first couple of lessons were much more challenging for him, so I’ve decided to put it on hold for now.
Yearly trips to Canada
My children having a connection to my Canadian family and country of birth is important to me, and the only way it will happen is by actually going to Canada. While international flights as a family are expensive, I’m lucky that JAL’s low cost carrier ZIPAIR now offers direct flights to Vancouver for a fraction of what the traditional carriers charge.
My children can communicate fairly well with me—I’m used to how they pronounce certain words, to the not-quite-correct grammar that they use, and to the occasional Japanese word.
We usually visit Vancouver during the summer, when it’s a pleasant break from Japan’s scorching heat. One added benefit is that my children can attend summer daycamps. I’ve only done this a couple of times, but so far have tried both short, focused programs, such as a two-hour per day arts and crafts camp, and day-long (9 a.m. to 3 p.m.) programs that essentially act like daycare while kids are on summer break. These programs give my children a chance to interact with Canadians their age, and also let me get a bit of work done.
As they’re non-profit programs offered by local community centers they are affordably priced. For instance, I paid about 280 Canadian dollars (32,000 yen as of April 2026) for a week-long day camp. When I looked at one international program in Japan with a similar schedule, they were charging a whopping 132,000 yen. It was actually cheaper for me to fly with my kids to Canada and back, than to put them in the Japanese day camp.
Conclusion
Looking back, I don’t think there’s been any “one simple trick” that has helped my kids become proficient in English. Rather, it’s been a question of putting in the time and finding multiple ways to engage them in the target language.
If you can’t afford (or don’t want to) send your kids to international school, but still want them to be fully bilingual, you’ll have to find your own path that’s unique to your family, your schedule, and their interests. I hope that my list helps you to get started—and based on my experience, the earlier you begin, the easier it is going to be.
