.png)
There are many articles, textbooks, and videos about learning Japanese, ranging from dry and academic to ones filled with pop culture references and slang. But most resources out there focus on the mechanics of Japanese and neglect the more amorphous communication skills.
Even worse, when you ask someone about a communication mishap or how to say something in Japanese, odds are that you’ll get a reply like “What’s the context?” or “It depends.” This is because Japan has a high-context culture: a culture where it is more common to communicate by implicit meaning than explicit, and where understanding the context of a conversation can be equally as important as understanding the actual words.
What is implicit communication?
It may be easier to explain implicit communication by contrast.
English-speaking cultures tend to be low-context, where it is more common to be explicit. If you’re new to a team, there may be some unwritten rules—for example, that nobody should email the boss after 4 p.m. on a Friday. In a low-context culture, a teammate would probably reach out to you and directly say, “Hey, we don’t do that here. Don’t email him after 4 p.m. on Fridays, he likes us to be able to finish the week on time.”
In a high-context culture, it is much more common to communicate through implication, especially when giving negative feedback. In the above situation, your coworker is more likely to communicate via a disapproving hiss or sigh, or perhaps a non-committal, “I see you sent an email, huh.”
Another example would be an unspoken dress code. If you wore a navy suit and white dress shirt to work in a high-context culture, perhaps nobody would comment on it at all because it fits in. However, if you wore a loud, purple suit with gold accessories, someone might say, “Nice suit.” That could be a compliment, but pointing out your suit could also be an implication that you’re violating a social norm by wearing a loud suit.
How do you know which it is? Context. It depends.
These are common behaviors in high-context cultures, but they can be frustrating and appear passive-aggressive to people from low-context cultures. However, for high-context communicators, there is often no intention of being rude; it’s simply how they’re used to communicating.
In fact, one common behavior in Japan has stymied me and many people I know: ignoring people when they do something rude or incorrect. This may sound unbelievable to people from low-context cultures. “Why wouldn’t you just tell me? It’s not obvious at all!” However, it can be difficult to understand how to articulate “the obvious.”
Many of those same people would have problems navigating a robot through a maze with literal instructions. “Why do I have to tell it to stop? It should obviously stop at the wall! And if I tell it to turn right and there’s a wall, why does it just walk into the wall?!”
It turns out that what’s obvious to you may not be obvious to others, and this is even more true when communicating across cultures and languages.
What is context?
Context is the setting in which communication occurs. Understanding context and appropriateness is critical to being a good communicator in Japanese. This concept is often wrapped up in the initialism “TPO,” meaning “time, place, and occasion.” For an example of how this can work in reality, consider the following exchange:
On the face of it, it seems simple, but consider how tweaking some of the following details completely changes the meaning of the conversation. Also, think about how different your perception would be if you assumed one thing, but the person you were talking with assumed another.
Relationships
Perhaps Suzuki is a manager and Smith is an intern, which creates a power dynamic where Smith is replying uncomfortably. Or Suzuki could be a doctor and Smith could be a patient recovering from an illness, which means that the exchange is informative and both sides are speaking positively.
Gender roles also affect the context of the conversation.
Culture
Are Suzuki and Smith in a culture where gaining weight is seen as a great thing? If this is a high-context culture, perhaps Suzuki is expressing himself too bluntly, or perhaps he’s implying something else entirely aside from the weight gain.
Society
Are there unspoken social rules around talking about someone’s weight? In some societies, it is a strict no-no to discuss other people’s weight. In others, it is ok, but only in certain circumstances. In still other societies, there is nothing wrong with commenting on people’s weights either positively or negatively.
Each society and culture has its own set of unspoken rules and norms that will affect what you can talk about, how you can talk about it, and how people will receive you talking about it.
Environment
Did this conversation take place in an office? Perhaps it would make more sense to you if I said it took place in a gym. However, you might be taken aback if I said that this was Smith’s wedding day! Or perhaps this is a conversation from a game of D&D—then the rules would be completely different.
Any of these contexts can affect our understanding of the conversation.
How can I communicate?
It is clear that there are gaps in communication that may not be bridged by knowing more words or grammar.
Communication is the ability to express yourself in such a way that the other parties in the conversation can understand the point you want to make. It sounds so obvious, but it’s not that simple.
In other words, knowledge is knowing the meaning of brobdingnagian, but communication is understanding when to use it.
Communication skills are somewhat independent of language knowledge: people who are good communicators in their native languages may still have smoother, more fluent Japanese conversations than people who have poor communication skills but a lot of Japanese knowledge. It is important to remember that communication goes two ways: you can be an active (speaking, writing) party or a passive (listening, reading) party.
Here are ideas to keep in mind to improve your communication skills, regardless of your Japanese level.
Empathy and Clarity
As an active communicator, when you write or speak, it is your responsibility to communicate with empathy and clarity. Empathy is connecting with your audience and caring about their understanding; clarity is expressing yourself in a way that is often simple and precise.
Empathy begins with understanding that it can be difficult to communicate across cultures and languages. There is almost always a gap to be bridged on both sides of the conversation. It’s all too easy to get frustrated when you think you’re communicating something clearly, but the other party isn’t understanding you. If that happens, take a step back and remind yourself that they are probably as frustrated as you are, and understanding non-native speakers can be difficult in its own way.
Clarity is also crucial to good communication. Some beginner and intermediate Japanese learners consider it important to use many Japanese compound words, or to utilize very specific words to express a 1:1 translation from their native language. While this behavior can aid clearer communication in your native language, it can backfire when speaking a language you aren’t entirely comfortable with.
Instead of attempting complex grammar or professional vocabulary that you may not be confident with, it’s ok to rely on basic vocabulary and grammar to get your point across. In fact, when possible, it may be faster to act something out or draw pictures or diagrams as aids—not all communication is verbal!
Remember that the primary aim of communicating is not to flex your Japanese ability, but to share information. The people you are speaking to are also experienced adults, so you can trust them to pick up what you’re putting down.
Active Listening
Good communicators listen to their audience and ask clarifying questions when necessary. This can be especially important in Japan, where there is not only a linguistic gap, but also environmental and cultural gaps.
As a non-native speaker, it can be incredibly daunting following conversations; in Japanese especially, it’s far too easy to zone out while nodding and occasionally saying, “Yeah, yeah, sure,” as words go in one ear and out the other.
Active listening is listening to the speakers to understand not only what they’re saying, but whether they understand what you want to communicate. If you’re unsure, asking clarifying questions is critical, especially if you come from a low-context communication culture. Japan is a high-context culture where much of communication relies on an unspoken, shared understanding that you may not yet grasp.
Self-Awareness
Being a self-aware communicator will pay dividends. As you reflect on why a miscommunication may have happened, the pieces you were missing in the past will gradually fall into place over time.
“KY” (空気読めない, kuuki yomenai), is a common phrase that describes people who don’t have a good grasp of context or appropriateness.
People will often give you leeway as a foreign speaker of Japanese—until they suddenly don’t. Maybe you’re stepping on dozens of toes in a conversation, or perhaps you’re speaking too directly or casually in front of a bigwig, but nobody feels able to let you know. Some days you’ll walk away from a discussion and find that other people are irritated with you for reasons you don’t understand at the time.
Attaining the level of self-awareness that Japanese people expect can be a learning experience, and nobody gets it right all the time, especially not for the first few years.I know I have embarrassing memories that keep me up at 2 a.m., thanks to my own overzealous self-awareness!
I remember when I first started teaching English and was excited about having access to barbers who could do flashy, fashionable haircuts and highlights. A number of teachers commented on my hair and I took it as praise for almost a year, until a seven-year-old kid bluntly told me, “You look like a punk, not a teacher.”
Lesson learned!
Flexibility
One of the most common pieces of feedback I got in my first few years was to be more flexible. This may seem at odds with my previous advice to be more clear and concrete! Unfortunately, while being clear and concrete can be great for helping your own communication and learning, it can also be distracting to some Japanese people. Being too concrete or repetitive can come across as stating the obvious or assuming the other person is clueless.
Examples of this in English are the “Umm, actually,” or “Do you mean . . . “ types of responses. Both parties know what’s going on, but one party insists on pushing their preferred word or using specific grammatical patterns, often to the annoyance of the other. Learning to only ask for clarification when you really need it is a big part of being an effective communicator.
Flexibility also comes in another form: knowing how to speak around specific words or phrases you don’t know or can’t remember on the spot. Perhaps you can’t remember the word 解約する (kaiyaku suru, cancel/break a contract). You could stall the conversation while you anxiously try to excavate it from your memory, or perhaps take out your phone and start searching through the dictionary—but I think most of us would admit that neither of these approaches keep a conversation going.
Flexible communicators might acknowledge that they forgot the word and describe it, perhaps as 契約を取り消す (keiyaku wo torikesu, cancel a contract), or in even simpler terms that come to mind, like 契約をやめる (keiyaku wo yameru, stop a contract) or 契約を無くする (keiyaku wo naku suru, make a contract not exist).
“But wait,” some people may say, “that’s not correct Japanese! And saying things those ways might have legal implications!”
That’s why flexibility is useful. Of course, in critical situations, you should take your time and consult native speakers and other resources. It is also equally important to know when to be flexible—to acknowledge that you don’t know the “correct” way to say something—and be able to discard your need to be “correct” in favor of being able to get your point across.
What else should I keep in mind?
One more facet of Japanese communication that may be different for foreigners to adjust to is that many Japanese people are reticent to say things that may rock the boat. This can include things like saying “no” or correcting people—the latter especially can be frustrating for people new to Japan!
If people in Japan aren’t comfortable with someone—whether due to unfamiliarity, social hierarchy, or anything else—it is quite common for them to let blatant mistakes pass by, even when reassured that corrections are welcome. At best, you may receive subtle cues in the form of seemingly non-committal comments or body language.
Some ways a Japanese speaker may show that they don’t agree without saying it directly are:
- I guess so… (まぁね, maa ne)
- That might be difficult… (ちょっと難しいです, chotto muzukashii desu)
- Sometime! (今度, kondo)
- Slightly tilting their head without saying anything
- A quiet hiss of breath
Handling this type of situation depends on the person and context; sometimes you can continue to reassure them that you welcome corrections because you’re unfamiliar with the language and culture and the other party will gradually warm to you and offer feedback. Sometimes nothing can change this behavior.
If you find that you are being ignored, or that your questions are being ignored, take a moment to reflect on your interactions up to this point and perhaps the answer will come to mind. You can also present the situation to an uninvolved third party and ask for their feedback, but be prepared to give context, context, and more context.
Conclusion
Like all skills, learning to communicate in Japanese takes practice. You’re guaranteed to make mistakes along the way, but that’s ok. By remaining mindful of implicit communication and context, you’ll pick up clues to help you understand what’s going on.
If you practice empathy and active listening while communicating clearly, the people you talk with are more likely to help you when you don’t quite understand what’s going on—and if you’re also flexible, you’re all less likely to get frustrated by communication mishaps.
This article is far from an exhaustive analysis of the ins and outs of communicating in Japanese, but I hope it has provided some actionable tips for you to keep in mind. If you want to read more about communication, I highly recommend The Culture Map (Erin Meyer) and If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?: My Adventures in the Art and Science of Relating and Communicating (Alan Alda).
The truth is that developers with communication skills are highly valued, whether you’re using C or Python, English or Japanese. You can go to a boot camp to learn to program, or an intensive language school to learn Japanese—however, in either case, you may find that there is a difference between what you learned in school, and what you need in reality. Hopefully these tips lead to genuine communication with your Japanese friends and coworkers.
